At Disneyland and Wondering about Writing

February 12, 2009

Vasant and I sat in the Blue Bayou (the restaurant inside Pirate of the Caribbean) and talked about my trouble writing fantasy for nearly two hours today. If you’re going to have a talk about creativity, talking about it at a table right on the edge of the moonlit swamp is the place to do it! I wrote about my problems writing a specific genre a couple weeks ago in a post called “A MESS”, but to be less vague, the genre I have difficulty writing is fantasy. It’s not that I don’t like fantasy. I do. I love it. But there’s something subconsciously blocking me from producing any works of fiction in that genre at all. And the crazy part is- I’m finishing up a novel that has nothing to do with it. A novel I’m incredibly proud of and excited about. BUT… now that I’ve id’ed this problem in me, I can’t get it out of my head. I keep thinking there is a better writer within my subconscious that is being blocked by this mysterious hangup. Why would I love fantasy, have an incredible imagination, but feel frustrated and fogged in whenever I try to write it? And it’s not that I’m trying to write it and I’m just no good at it. I can’t write it. I can’t get more than a paragraph into it- I all of a sudden get angry, ditch the idea and walk away from the paper or laptop. It’s dumb.

I feel like when I can figure out what this problem is, and breakthrough with a completed short story in this genre, I’ll be able to get to parts of my imagination that for whatever reason have been blocked off. I don’t know why I blocked them off, but I know I have and I’m not resting until I solve this problem, open this door and write a fantasy story.

Interesting thought occurred to me today: how I write about normal life, no fantasy, only a little sci-fi… and how it doesn’t represent ME. I’m not normal. I’m a very odd person. If you’re supposed to write what you know…? Maybe I’ve taken that too literally. Maybe it’s not write what you know as much as it should be, write WHO you are. Not in a Mary-Jane kinda way, but in a “be true to thine own self” kinda way.

Anyway, Disneyland is an incredible place to ruminate on all these thoughts. I have an idea for a story, I just have to get rid of the barriers in my head and heart that keep me from writing it. We’ll see if, during the rest of this trip, I have any luck.

Some Disneyland pictures:









I was so upset- my camera died right before he uttered the words, “You could always try MY way out…”

Recharging it for tomorrow. Hope the rain doesn’t spoil chances of getting good pictures. I so wanted to break in my new Nikon on this trip.


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